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15 Things That Emotionally Strong People Don’t Do

I have copied the list below directly from elitedaily.com

Oh, and the things that I struggle with are number 2, not allowing others to bring me down. And 5, trying not to loose faith in myself and number 8.

1. They Don’t Beg For Attention
Needing attention is directly linked to emotion. Those who feel the need for recognition only find themselves experiencing feelings of worth when others make them feel needed; it’s as if these people are uncertain of their value, or if they have any ounce of self-worth. Feeling unsure of your worth is a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you don’t know you matter, then no one will ever believe you do.

2. They Don’t Allow Others To Bring Them Down
Emotional strength requires resilience. This world is filled with haters and trolls. There are jealous eyes lurking around every corner. The unfortunate truth is that often the people who hold us back the most are those closest to us. Getting rid of these people is often the best solution, but also the most difficult. If you can quietly remove these people from your life, that’s one fewer bridge burned and much less of an emotional trigger.

3. They Don’t Hold Grudges
If you’re holding a grudge, then you already care more about a situation than you should. If a person apologizes genuinely, forgive him or her. If this person doesn’t apologize, then don’t interact with him or her, but don’t hold grudges. People with whom you seek to alienate and hold grudges against take up too much of your mental energy, doing more harm than good.

4. They Never Stop Doing Their Own Thing
Emotionally strong individuals do what they do because they love doing it. They don’t plan on slowing down or stopping for anyone who deems their happiness inappropriate.

5. They Never Stop Believing In Themselves
Those who love themselves and understand themselves — those who aren’t afraid or proud to be themselves — never doubt themselves. You amount to your own self-worth, not a shilling more.

6. They Don’t Act Like Bitches Or Assh*les
People are mean. But we wonder, why? Being a jerk is only good as an intimidation factor, and if you’re trying to intimidate people, then you better be a negotiator by profession; if you’re intimidating just for the sake of it, you’re obviously overcompensating for a lack of confidence. Do you also drive a very large automobile, perhaps? I hear they make pills for that.

7. They Know Better Than To Let Just Anyone Into Their Lives
The emotionally strong are emotionally strong for a reason: They don’t expose themselves to people who break down their defenses and crush their morale. Most people in the world are lost and will be more than happy to take you along with them. Don’t let an awful acquaintance ruin your happiness.

8. They Aren’t Afraid To Love
If you’re afraid to love, you don’t have enough confidence in yourself. You obviously think you can’t be in a lasting relationship, but only in one that is doomed for disaster. You don’t want to get hurt again because getting hurt really sucks. There is no reason for you to get your heart broken again because you are awesome. If things don’t work out, it’s not you. It’s the two of you together. Unless, of course, you are an awful human being; in that case, it is you.

9. They Don’t Lie In Bed Dreading The Day Ahead Of Them
The best part of your day should be the moment you wake up and realize you’re still alive. We take life for granted too regularly.

10. They’re Not Afraid Of Slowing Down
Emotionally strong people aren’t in need of constant action and excitement. They don’t need to run around all day and keep moving in order to avoid their demons. They appreciate a slow moment because it brings them closer to what it feels like to do nothing but living, breathing. This is not to say that they don’t enjoy excitement in their lives, but they aren’t junkies and are more than happy to just go for a walk and smell the roses.

11. They Don’t Do Things They Don’t Want To Do
We all do things that we don’t love to do, but we should never do things that we don’t want to do. The emotionally strong understand that and almost always manage to figure out a way to focus on what they love, which allows them to figure out what they need to do, in order to do what they love. Although they may not love every second of it, they like doing what they are doing because it’s bringing them one step closer to what they would love to do.

12. They Have No Problem Saying “No”
If you can’t say “no,” you will get abused. You’ll be considered a pushover and no one will ever ask you for your opinion or take it seriously when you give it. Saying “no” reminds people that they don’t have control over you.

13. They Don’t “Forget” To Give Back
We’re not too busy or too poor to donate our money and/or time. We don’t forget, either. Some people just choose to ignore our responsibilities as human beings. The stronger you are emotionally, the more you come to appreciate others and life itself. You give life more worth and you begin to empathize with those who were dealt a bad hand.

14. They Don’t Feel The Need To Fit In
The stronger you are emotionally, the more independent you become. You don’t feel the need to fit in because you fit in where it matters: the world. People form smaller social groups that are often skewed and unhealthy. Wanting to fit in doesn’t say much more than “I’m afraid to be myself.”

15. They Don’t Forget That Happiness Is A Decision
Most importantly, the emotionally strong have learned to understand the power their brains have over both the mind and body. They understand that emotions are reactions, not reactions to direct physical causes, but to the way we perceive those causes. In other words, our emotions don’t reflect reality; rather, our emotions reflect the way we interpret reality. Understanding this gives us near-full control of our emotions and, therefore, our lives.

 
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Posted by on 2014/07/17 in Uncategorized

 

Accidental healthiness

It seems I’ve landed in a blissful flow, where I’ve kept myself busy with all sorts of tasks. While being busy I somehow automatically fell into a healthy diet in which I don’t consume any lactose, gluten or sugar. Well, I have’nt refrained from sugar entirely. All three are no good for me, I’m well aware of that, just like I know alcohol is’nt any good either. But still foods bursting with carbohydrates are irresistable and I keep indulging in such, bah.

So I’m currently active, creative, eat healthy, drink plenty of water and feeling overall flourishing. My colleague and I spoke about this healthy living today, she’s much like me in her way of eating – the off and on type. And I wondered how long this accidental healthiness will last, before I for some reason revert to that old alcoholic way of eating. Eating not for nutrition, but to stimulate the pleasure center in my brain. I wish and hope and will try my best to keep this up, because I really like this way of living. But only hours ago, I heard an Burger King advert on the radio, about some grilled steak burger and that sure had my brain going! I have this darn habit of making Friday and Saturday special, which means cooking something sinful and then enjoying candies after that delicious supper. I’ve managed to not “celebrate” weekend the last two weeks, but all of the sudden I was planning to eat hamburger… mmmm grilled juicy beef, cheese and bacon burgers :)) And I tell myself that I deserve a sinful dinner, I’ve been good for two weeks now dammit!

And that’s what annoys me, that I’m keeping track on how long I’m being good. I don’t want to count days, I just want this to be my natural every day healthy way of living.

So no, I wont do it. No burger for me, thank you very much. I think that giving in just once – that’s what kicks me right back to old ways of eating. I’m amazed that I have’nt bought any candy either, for what feels like aaaages! And I’ll do my darndest not to buy any on Friday.

 
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Posted by on 2014/07/16 in Uncategorized

 

Sweet little Angelina with her fantastic singing

She’s only 7 years old, but what a voice! This is Angelina Jordan and she’s singing “Fly Me To The Moon,” one of my favorite songs of all time. Absolutely heavenly!

 
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Posted by on 2014/07/14 in Uncategorized

 

A creative Sunday

Yesterday was a gorgeous Summer day, perfect for a couple of outings. Today we’re having a grey and dull day which is absolutely perfect for staying at home being creative.

Here are a few favourites from yesterday’s bargain hunt:

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This next item is some sort of a ring, I thought it might fit around the neck of a bottle, and rightly so – it did! A little something to use in the future when altering a bottle:

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I also found this:

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To hang here:

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Then I got this cool mask:

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And hid it there:

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Lastly, what I’ve been pottering with today. For quite a while now, I had been looking for a round neat little table for the balcony. But have been unsuccessful. Yesterday at the flea market I spotted a big (and darn heavy) candle holder made of iron ware:

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I had a chat with the elderly couple at the booth selling this thing and told them I could imagine using it for a table. All I needed was a round flat object to top it… Just before I finished that sentence I spotted a wooden tray that they had standing under their table:

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I grabbed it, put it on the candle holder and went “tadaaa!” The man exclaimed: “Only a woman can come up with such ideas!” hahaa They both found it to be a brilliant idea and I actually got the wooden tray for free :))

This is what I made of it:

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Time is now 2 pm and I’m hungry! I’ve been up since around 5:30 am and have been pottering and never got around to eat. But I’ve been cooking whilst waiting for the paint to dry on that table, so now it’s time to eat!

 
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Posted by on 2014/07/13 in Uncategorized

 

Flea markets

I visit flea markets primarily as outings, a reason to travel to somewhere in or around Stockholm county – preferably somewhere I’ve never been before. It’s a very cheap way of getting out and about, I travel with my prepaid monthly travel card which allows me to travel by bus, commuter train or tram as often as I please for a fixed price. Perhaps flea markets have replaced my photo walks this year, and focus has changed from photography to curiously looking at all the stuff that people sell at these fairs. I most often pay no more than 5 to 20 SEK för something at a flea market (up tp 2  EUR or 3 USD), at rare occations I might pay a wee bit more. Like these two bottles I recently found:

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(the wooden box behind the bottles is also a finding hehee)

I paid 30 SEK each for these bottles, I understand it’s difficult to estimate their size by the photos but I must add that those are rather large bottles. Most of my bargains are all about my hobbies. These two bottles I plan to alter, using clay, acrylic paint and other media.

I’m always keeping my eyes open for boxes, I love altering wooden boxes or tins. Here are a few recent purchases:

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A while back I altered a wooden box that originally looked like the light brown boxes here above. I experimented with using clear embossing powder on the lid and acrylic paint on the sides:

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All embellishments that I use when altering things are flea markets bargains. The skull would have costed me quite a lot, bought new in a shop, instead I paid 10 SEK for it. I have a box, now nearly full with of brooches and other trinkets, all bargains:

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I really like this brooch that I got at the Muskö fair:

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My only fear when buying these old cheap jewelries is that I will accidently buy an antique thing worth a fortune and I will sit there at home with my wire cutters, cutting away the pins and holders and so *grin* Oh and I have to tell, that ironically I never actually wear any jewelry, it just isn’t me.

My current project is the bottle at the top of this post, I have bought clay which is a media that I have never worked with before. It’s exciting trying out new methods and I take help and inspiration from images at Pinterest. I’m curious to see what I can make with that bottle, it’s flat so I suppose it will be a little easier to work with.

Otherwise I do keep my eyes open for all sorts of stuff when I visit the flea markets, for instance I want a round little table for my balcony or I need a new box to store any new trinkets that I buy. But I have to tell that I’m very careful with what I choose to buy as I certainly do not want to turn into a hoarder hahaa I only buy such that I really need or want for my hobbies.

I am usually not much for talking to strangers, but when I’m at these flea markets, I have noticed that I’m opening up more and more. People are in brilliant moods and being talkative, I might ask them about some of the stuff that sits on the table at their booth and sometimes I mention what I plan to do with the thing that I buy from them. They most often react with surprise and they say that it had never occured to them that they could alter a certain thing. It’s an awesome feeling to share what is on my mind and people respond with interest and even ideas of their own. Once I even had a seller taking back a thing I was going to buy, because she suddenly realised what she could do with it hahaa

 
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Posted by on 2014/07/09 in Uncategorized

 

The experiment and the steak

Someone shared this in Facebook:

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Source

And I remembered years ago, someone (I’ll be damned, but I can’t remember who) told that he had been visiting a friend and at some point she was preparing supper. She brought out a big chunk of steak and began cutting pieces away from this meat. As far as he could see, there was nothing wrong with the bits of meat that she was cutting away. Once done preparing the meat she put it in the oven. He then asked her why she had cut those good pieces off the steak and puzzled she had looked at him, she thought about it for a moment and then replied: “I don’t know, my grandmother had always prepared a steak this way, and so did my mum”.

I think I was in my early 20’s when I heard this and I have always carried this golden nugget with me. It was an eye-opener. Perhaps I have always been a sort of person to be open for change of behaviour, prone to rid such that do not agree with me. Or perhaps I am so very logical that stories such as the two above makes perfect sense and so become very appealing to me.

One of the first habits that I broke, a habit I had inherited from my mum (and this was in my late teens when I had moved from home) was to use the fine plates and cutlery as everyday objects. When my mum saw how I over used the good stuff that was ought to be saved for special occasions, she was appaled. Years later puzzled, and some years further down that line she too began using her fine china and cutlery more often than on purely for special occasions.

If one ponders about it, what really dictates a special occasion? Surely “special” is open for individual interpretation?

As an alcoholic I sure have been a master of special occasions ;)

And so I have been moving through life, for instance I no longer have clothes for special occasions. If I would be invited for a particularily special occasion, I would purchase the clothes required. It was years ago I owned any, saved to be used on a special occasion. But I cannot say that I would’nt wear them afterwards while picking mushrooms in the forrest. But most likely, if these were an extraordinary outfit, I would pay them forward to someone who is more likely to appreciate them.

I have also previously mentioned leaving inherited violent behavior behind me and having moved on as a pacifist.

Though, I think one backside to doing the opposite to what others have done before me has led me to loose sense for tradition. I’m not sure if that’s a loss or not… I don’t suffer whilst not subscribing to all those countless of big and small traditions. And who knows, perhaps I am creating new ones, ones that have a meaning and makes sense to me.

But all of these habits that I have broken have been rather easily identified after that story about the steak. What’s difficult is to break those habits that come as natural as breathing. The habits so deeply rooted that I’m not even aware they’re there. That are’nt part of the true me. It is those I wish I could discover and shed. This is when I fantasize about mindblowing conversations with unconventional and marvelous people. People that are open-minded, humble, kindhearted, genuine, curious, different, insightful, humorous, profound… Yes, it is a mouthwatering fantasy.

That’s why I like the work that Brandon the photographer does with Humans of New York. He and those he photographs, momentarily I am given a tiniest glimpse of their life stories, a stranger’s wisdom, hopefully an eye-opener for me, a golden nugget never to be forgotten. Those little captions that are posted with the portraits are to me the matter that quenches my thirst.

Sigh… I need to put the iPhone away. Time is rapidly closing in on 10 pm, I need to get to bed if I’m to be able to get up at 5 am tomorrow. So off I go, wishing you a good night’s sleep :)

 
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Posted by on 2014/07/08 in Uncategorized

 

Bargains, a flat tire and some tears

It’s almost annoying that I so easily can get out of bed early in the morning during the weekend, but during workdays I’m half dead at that time. But I suppose that it’s tough during weekdays because it’s a must, during weekends it’s my own choice whether I go up early or not. So today I happily got out of bed a little after 6 am, the sun again flooding my home with sunshine and I finally got around to finish the job I had started months ago, to gather all of my paints and material in the IKEA bookshelf I had bought. I have had stuff (that I use for my pottering) all over the place, in all shelfs and drawers. But now I have it all neatly gathered on the bookshelf and looking at the material that I have tickles my curiosity and creativity and I’m itching to start a new project.

I knew that we were getting somewhat nice weather today, but we were all surprised to enjoy a brilliant, sunny and warm day. This gorgeous summer weather added to the wonderful day that I and Bella had at Muskö, a wee island 30 or 40 kilometers from where we live.

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Bella had a lot to talk about as we drove to the island, and I was happy to just sit and listen. It was no trouble finding the flea market, it was larger than I had thought and surprisingly I found a great deal of bargains and came home with my backpack filled with various stuff. We visited the booths along the country roads as well, and also a couple of farm shops. But then as we were leaving the last farm shop, Bella accidently backed into something with the car. She turned off the engine and went out to check if she had destroyed any property. Then she returned to tell me that she had’nt. So off we went, but we didn’t get very far when we heard a strange noise from the back of the car. We were close to a parking lot near a small berth, Bella drove that way and parked the car. We stepped out to find a flat tire.

Afterwards Bella told that she had found me to be so calm, as she herself nearly fell apart. She admitted to be sensitive with a streak of drama queen ;-) And I realise that I am so used to coping with urgent problems  cropping up all day long at work, so this was simply another case for me to solve. Now, I have no driver’s license and know nothing about cars, but it appeared Bella’s knowledge wasn’t that great either. I said that I’m sure that I can change a tire, I mean… this was a little KIA car, how hard can it be? So that was step number 1. She opened the trunk, we lifted the cover to find the space, where the spare tire ought to be, empty. Heh. No tire, no jackscrew. Bella panicked and lost focus and I had to ask her a couple of times to let me have her attention, because she needed to help me figure out step 2. Instead we found a wee box and a bottle of something and figured those were for pumping up the tire with a sealing solution. She didn’t know how to use it, but when I opened the box there were easily understood instructions written on the inside. I read them, and then installed the thingy and asked her to turn on the engine. I turned on the thingy and it began filling the tire. And that gooey sealing stuff began flowing out of the tire. So the whole rubber had been penetrated by whatever it was Bella had backed into.

During all of this Bella phoned various people, because we needed for someone to come to Muskö with a spare tire and also with the knowledge of how to install that tire. But as I mentioned, gorgeous summer weather reigned and most folks were out and about. Bella had a wee cry and as I put all the stuff back into the trunk I asked her to have a sit with me in the car and figure out step 3. Bella said she had the winter tires for this car in her storage, so we decided that best would be to return home. We found a friendly soul walking nearby on the country road, who told us where to find a bus stop. I could see that Bella wanted to remain by the car, but I found that quite pointless.

I have to tell something funny, I seem to have a sixth sense about buses and trains hahaa Every time mum and I are out and about, she’s always amazed that whenever we decide to return home, there the train or the bus basically waits for us. So as we sat in the car I had a feeling that the bus would arrive soon and urged her that we go. And so we did, and we arrived to the bus stop three minutes before the bus came :) Had we been five minutes late, then we would have had to wait for two hours for the next bus. And so the bus took us to the train station and the train brought us home. Bella cried a few more times and we talked a lot on the bus. During the ride she managed to find someone who would drive her back to the car that was parked at Muskö and it seemed she would manage to get the car home this evening. But then there was the business with buying a new tire, as this was a car Bella had borrowed. I know Bella has no money and told her that I want to pay for the tire. I know that there is no way in hell she would let me pay for it, but I said that it’s no secret that she doesn’t have that money, and that I on the other hand do have that money. And as I don’t have any children, brothers or sisters to care for – at least I could do this for her. Or she could see this as a Christmas gift in advance. Whatever. I just wanted her to let me help her. I can truthfully tell you that Bella and Monica are the closest to sisters that I will ever have.

At last we came home, we continued to talk for a while and the last thing I said was for her to phone me tomorrow when time came to pay for the tire. I’ll see if she does or not. At least she’ll phone me this evening to report on how it went with getting the car home.

So this turned out to be a very eventful day! Yes, an absolutely splendid day that I am happy to have been part of. Right now I’m tired from all the walking, and then I had a huge pile of laundry waiting for me when I got home *bleh* I have been postponing the laundry for ages and there was no way of getting out of this dullest job on earth. So now I’m doing the bloody laundry, writing this blog post and afterwards I’ll rummage through the bargains that I had brought home with me and will sort it all neatly into it’s place on the IKEA bookshelf :)

 
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Posted by on 2014/07/05 in Uncategorized