One year sober WOO HOO!

And here it is, my 1 year chip:

The token that for me symbolizes that I have managed to cope with myself, to be my own friend, that I have managed to deal with everyday life – without escaping by alcohol. Not even a drop!

Going to this evening’s AA meeting was the best way ever – to celebrate my sobriety that is. My AA friends made this evening into such a warmhearted and beautiful evening and for that I am so very grateful.

Am on my way home now, and when I come home I shall be a true nerd and sew a cute perfectly matched pouch, so that I can carry the chip with me always (without loosing it). It will be mine until it is replaced with a 2 years chip ;-) Then I can forward my chip to to another marvelous and one year sober alcoholic.

And so I have reached the end of this blog, but the adventure that is my life has only begun!

For those who are curious, I am hanging about here these days: Casa del Alma

Take good care of yourselves, and lots of love to you all! xoxo

Blog of the Year 2012 Award

Rockdweller’s Blog has been nominated for the Blog of the Year 2012 Award by “R”HubBlog.

Thank you Ronnie!

Here are the rules for this award:

1. Select the blog or blogs you think deserve the “Blog Of The Year” award.

2. Write a blog post and tell us about the blog or blogs you have chosen. There’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required and ‘present’ them with their award.

3. Please include a link back to this page Blog of the Year 2012 Award and include these rules in your post. Please don’t alter the rules or the badges.

4. Let the blog/blogs you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share rules with them.

5. You can now also join our Facebook group – Click ‘like’ on this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012′ Award Facebook group and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience .

6. As a winner of the award, please add link back to the blog that presented you with the award, and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar and start collecting stars.

There are stars to collect. Unlike other awards which you can only add to your blog once – this award is different. When you begin you will receive the 1 star award, and every time you are given the award by another blog, you can add another star.  

There are total of 6 stars to collect.  

Which means that you can check out your favourite blogs, and even if they have already been given the award by someone else, then you can still bestow it on them again and help them to reach the maximum 6 stars!  

For more information check FAQ on The Thought Palette

In keeping with the primary identity of this blog which is about recovery, I am nominating five exceptional individuals, not just for the quality of their blogs, but the progress they have each made in their life, and the inspiration they have given to others. Note that the blogs listed below, number 1 to 4, are recovering alcoholics, though number 5 (although in recovery) does not live with alcoholism – but TBI.   So here goes, in alphabetical order:

1. Al K Hall-ic Anonymous

2. God Walked Into This Bar

3. Mrs D is going without

4. Oh for the love of …me

5. The Fight of My Life: Living with TBI

30 days of gratitude: Day 30

Today I am grateful for…

…having completed this task, to list five things per day, that I am grateful for – for 30 days throughout November. It has been a pure pleasure and it has helped me a lot in my everyday life. Whenever I have been negative, irritated or grumpy I have been able to turn around to take a look at my situation from a different point of view. It really is amazing how easily it is to turn negative, to be disappointed (due to one’s own expectations) or being weighed down by problems exaggerated. That being grateful or positive is something that I need to be aware of and to practice on an every day basis.

…a new routine. I shall continue being consciously grateful for all the good that exist in my life and in my world. In my new blog I will begin a routine to list goodies that I am grateful for, once a week. For instance a Gratitude Sunday, or similar.

…an unexpected message. This morning I found a private message in Facebook from an acquaintance. She wrote that she appreciated the joy and positiveness that I spread in Facebook and by her own message she hoped to return some of that joy. Her kind words truly warmed my heart and made me so very happy.

…in exactly two weeks I will be holding a one-year-AA-chip in my hands. One year of sobriety… how about that :-)

…for a light heart, a heart filled with love. A quiet mind, a mind filled with healthsome thoughts. Of course, there is quite some crap going on up there, but I am not contolled by a destructive mind any longer. I am so happy to be learning to be aware of the thoughts that clutter my head, to be kind towards myself and to accept whatever thoughts it might be. Not to try and to repress those automatic unwanted thoughts, but to choose to think other conscious thoughts and to act on those instead.

A year ago, I was phobically afraid of myself, my thoughts and feelings. My whole life I have avoided to take a good look at myself, to hear what I had to say or to feel what was rummaging through my body and soul. I believed that if I stopped, listened and felt – I would loose my mind. Though I understood that this was a deep fear that I needed to face if I was going to be able to remain sober.

Today I am not afraid of myself, I don’t believe that I will fall apart nor drown in some nightmarish darkness or emptiness. I am becoming my own friend and I do take good care of myself, just like I do with any of my friends. I have discovered that I have it in me to live a life, a meaningful life even – and to wholeheartedly enjoy this living.

30 Days of Gratitude… Are You In?

30 days of gratitude: Day 29

Today I am grateful for…

…being done with my kitchen. I have never had such a neat and tidy kitchen before! I know exactly what I have and where it is stored, it’s a pure pleasure looking into my cupboards now.

…the renovation people making an extra effort. To make sure that they really are done next week, they have decided to work through this entire weekend.

…it just keeps on snowing!

Photo shot from mum’s balcony.

…an extended life. Research has proved that practicing gratitude reduces stress, fear, anxiety, high blood pressure, depression, and heart disease. Bottom line, gratitude can extend one’s life.

…focusing on what I do have, instead of what I don’t.

30 Days of Gratitude… Are You In?

30 days of gratitude: Day 28

Today I am grateful for…

…new cooking experiences. Today I made and cooked pork dumplings for the first time! It was easy to make, though trickier to cook. I had bought a new bamboo steamer, but the first batch of dumplings got stuck to the bamboo! Had to scrape off the dumplings, did’nt look appetizing at all… Then cleaned the steamer and oiled the bamboo, and the second batch did’nt stick to the steamer as much. Cleaned it, oiled it again and the third batch of dumplings came out perfect. Most importantly, they tasted delicious! I made a dipping sauce out of good quality light soy sauce, minced garlic and minced ginger – yum!

…another lovely day out and about together with mum. On our way home I took a peek into my apartment, only to find that nothing further had been done. So I am now fairly sure I will not be moving home this weekend either. Oh well.

…having the chance to reflect on the things in life that I am grateful for.

…snow. Today it snowed here in Stockholm, oooooh gotta love snow!

…moments of silence. Quite precious nowadays.

30 Days of Gratitude… Are You In?

30 days of gratitude: Day 27

Today I am grateful for…

…a tired body, it means that I have been productive. Mum and I went to IKEA and the nearby shopping centre, and were out and about for about six hours. Afterwards I moved on to my apartment and got my kitchen cupboards in order. For a moment a realisation sunk in, how dirty and dusty my apartment actually is due to the renovation. And the mountain of stuff and furniture all piled up in my livingroom… Thankfully I am good at repressing unwanted thoughts, so rather than panicking and wondering how in the world I am supposed to get my apartment cleaned I just went La La Laaa and admired the work that I had done in the kitchen. I will deal with it all, but one little bit at the time and to take the time that I need. I cannot manage it all at once, nor do I have to.

…something happening in my apartment. It did look like the workers had been in my apartment today – will they at last deal with my bathroom? All the stuff that is supposed to be in to the bathroom such as toilet stool, sink, radiator, shower, mirror cupboard, lights and so on – sits right outside in my hallway. I was tempted to leave the workers a note, asking what the heck they are waiting for?

…knowing that I will sleep like a baby tonight.

…currently having all the time in the world to do whatever it is that I need to do, or feel like doing.

…having paid all my bills AND having enough money left over (today was payday).

30 Days of Gratitude… Are You In?

30 days of gratitude: Day 26

Today I am grateful for…

…remembering a full year. There are seasons that I barely remember over the last seven years. Summers and Springs are lost, due to my alcoholism. But memories of 2012 remains vividly in my mind. That alone, being sober for this almost entire year, makes 2012 so very special.

…the lack of drama. I desperately wanted to be spared from any extreme drama this year, I wanted enough peace for me to sober up and to heal. And now when looking back, I realise it is precisely what I got! This is the first whole year, in my entire life, that I have lived through without any greater hardships to deal with. How amazing is that!

…having started getting my apartment in order.

…having learned to live outside the comfortable cocoon, that is my home. This week it will be two months that I have lived with mum. It sure has been a lesson learned, though I must admit that being so close to moving back home (this week or next) is making me impatient. Today when in my apartment, and having noticed that exactly nothing has been done for eleven days, had me grinding my teeth. But… I still can do nothing but to wait. I have to remind myself to relax, let go and to be patient.

…a lovely day out, downtown in Stockholm. Not only window shopping, but I also found a set of pens that several Zentangle artists have mentioned – the Sakura Micron Pens. Can’t wait to try them out!

30 Days of Gratitude… Are You In?